Before I get into the meat and drink of this post, I would like to put it on the record that use of the term “banger” should in my view be reserved as being a descriptor of a sausage or an old car. I absolutely loath its seemingly ubiquitous use now in terms of signifying something “good” (it’s a banger, it’s banging et al) and if and when I am in charge its use for non approved purposes (see above and below) will become punishable by a large fine (repeat offenders will be sent to one of the salt mines, I will set up, for five years). The addition of “absolute/absolutely” in front of the offending “banger/banging” word will resulting in a doubling of the fine/salt mine sentence. I will allow the use of  “bang for your buck”, “bang the drum” and “bang on about” (because I use them) to be clear.

Righteous indignation rant over, beer and sausages are one of those tried and trusted combos that has really stood the test of time.

Both has been around for eons, with beer in days of yore safer to drink than water and a sausage a way of preserving meats and maximising the use of an animal with the less premium cuts going into the sausage. So methods of both preservation and self preservation.

Oddly both seem to have originated in ancient Mesepotamia, but many years apart (beer 7000 years ago and the sausage 4000 years ago). I assume someone called Hammurabi or Sargon was drinking a beer in Babylon and thought “You know what would go really well with this, a cooked tube of animal intestine filled with the finely chopped bits that no one tends to eats from the same animal? Why didn’t we think of this 1000s of years ago?” and thus the banger was born.

In the UK, the sausage is well loved (as both a breakfast and dinner item) although quality used to be an issue (with the use of often dodgy fillers being where the term ” banger” comes from, as World War II era sausages had a very high water content in order to bulk them up which made them often pop in the pan). “Yes Minister” (which was invariably rather too close to the truth) set out a fictional scenario where the EU required us to relabel the British banger as an “emulsified high-fat offal tube“.

Across the pond, US have taken the sausage to their hearts with the hotdog. This veers between the glorious and the processed poison and the less said about a lot of US “beers” the better, with a suitable tagline for much of their beers being” Water too strong for you? Well, maybe, you need a Miller/Bud lite for something that’s weak shite“.

On the continent, in places such as Germany and Austria (and to a lesser extent regards sausages but very much regards beer, Belgium), they take beer and sausages very seriously.

This brings me to Bran (located in one of Cardiff’s rather lovely arcades, which make sitting outside in the recent clement weather rather pleasant),

which is a bar offering what the Belgians seem to love, in the form of beer, frites, waffles, sausages and board games.

I am not a particular fan of waffles (love to waffle mind) so I was there for the beer, sausage and frites. Looking at their online presence, I did notice a link to “booking the dungeon” which rather intrigued. As the place also centres on seemingly pretty geeky board games, I assume this is for Dungeons and Dragons type gaming rather than anything more tortuous/risqué/need a “Buffalo Bill” sort of place, well boy have we got somewhere that will fit the bill like a second skin.

The beer menu, which they rather grandly call a bible, is quite extensive and reflects the myriad of styles that come from Belgian brewers (as well as beyond).

The Belgians do seem to have a panache for worryingly high ABVs (which is where the “smashed” in the title comes from), with the Black Damnation IV – Messy (and oh boy will it get very messy) coming in at 39°, which is frankly bonkers. Here the highest abv beer is a more manageable (but still…) 11°.

The sausage offering is rather more truncated and does not really scream Belgian, with no bourdin noir/blanc or frikandel (the latter the most beer friendly/easiest sell in the UK, I would say)

As a chilli dog is about as Belgian as I am,  I opted for the more sedate standard hot dog offering (£9.95), which could (at a stretch) be deemed at least frikandel- ish.

This was a good hot dog, with a substantial properly meaty and girthy frankfurter, with a nice snap to it (rather than one of those skinny minnie ones), lots of sharp pickles and mustard (which I got everywhere and probably still have some behind my ear) and a good portion of crispy onions to add texture. I noted (and ignored) the knife and fork provided and would say if you use a knife and fork to eat a hot dog then you really need to revisit your life choices as it has all gone terribly wrong!

To this I was intent on adding a portion of frites, as you can’t go to a Belgian bar and not have frites (akin to going to Naples and passing on a pizza). Why the Belgians are so obsessed with frites is a bit of a mystery to me, but from a (very cursory) Google search (is there any other kind) it seems they claim to have invented them (the French and the Spanish would beg to differ – Belgium or Spanish fries just doesn’t sound right does it) back in the 1600s in the Meuse Valley

Whatever the genesis of fries/frites, the Belgians have certainly honed the craft of fries/frites over the years, with even UNESCO recognising their unique Fritkot culture.

They are also somewhat control freaks in  Belgium about mayo (the classic chip accompaniment)  with there being a Belgium Mayonaise law, by Royal Decreee no less, that defines what a product calling itself mayonaise must contain.

My initial look at the menu on line, elicited a ” Wow, that must be one f’ffing amazing mayo!!!!!”

but the in-house menu had no sign of these rather inflated prices thankfully

I thought when “In Bruges” (a classic film and a rather lovely town to boot) and thus (against my normal” keep it simple stupid” mantra) went for the Belgian fries (with chip spice and sauce Andalouse).

Disappointed with these, to be honest. Not particularly crisp and way too much “chip spice” (seem to be just salt and paprika, so far as I could tell). The sauce Andalouse  (a mix of mayo, tomato paste/ketchup and chopped pepper) was quite nice, being pleasingly tangy, but the prevalence of the chip spice (of which more and more was added with each chip dip) moved it from the pleasingly tangy to texturally and taste wise rather challenging (by turning it into a claggy salty paste). I ate them, but with no great relish.

In summary, I didn’t think these worked and wished I had gone for the standard unadorned frites or indeed not bother with frites at all. I also thought they were a bit spenny (at £6.95) for the size.

So good dog, not so good frites.

On the booze front, the size of the offering is quite overwhelming and you can spend serious money on a beer should you so wish.

The Bible, helpfully has a glossary

and the staff are happy to help and are pretty knowledgeable judging from conversations with other tables I earwigged on. Chap sat a couple of tables down eventually went for a 8° number, which I think he regretted as he seemed to be sipping it as if it was hemlock.

After much deliberation,

I decided to go for a fruity lambic number in the form of a Timmermans cherry and black pepper (£6.95, it retails at £4 ish so very fair mark up) at a moderate 4°.

I reasoned that as I like black pepper on strawberries a cherry variation on that theme would be interesting.

Quite a lurid colour, it was surprisingly almondy with me not really getting any pepper. With the cherry, I thought it rather reminiscent of a (non sweet) Bakewell tart. I liked the almondy sourness, but I can see it may be a rather acquired taste.

As I was sipping it, I noticed the back of the bottle said 25cl whereas the beer bible had the bottle size as 33cl (a not inconsiderable 32% bigger).  My initial thought was well “Ik ben opgelicht “, but on looking at the glass I noted the fill (with some still in the bottle) was well past the half pint (just over 28 cl) and on its way to the 2/3 pint (over 37 cl) marks on the glass.

As such all a bit of a mystery. Was the bottle label wrong, I wonder, as looking online it seems these beers comes in 33cl bottles? I probably should have queried it, but had a train to catch (which was cancelled) to get down the bay for a blind wine tasting.

I like to kid myself that my very poor performance in guessing the wines was down to the lingering Bakewell tart beer on my palate but I fear its absence would have made little difference.

As I was quite thirsty (from the frites) I also glugged a half of one of their on draft beers

in the form of a chouffe session beer (£3.5 for a half). Decent easy drinking number, that did the required thirst slaking job very well.

For non beer drinker

they do cocktails (of course they do, as failure to do so in the UK is punishable by multiple immersions into a lake of the ubiquitous negroni by way of a ducking stool until you have seen the error of your ways and produced a comprehensive cocktail menu – I am awaiting the advent of the Greggs cocktail list and the birth of the Sausage Rolled Fashioned).

The verdict

I rather liked Bran, it is a sort of place that appeals to the geek in me. I imagine with craft beers and board games galore it is geek heaven for some and you can certainly go on separate flights of beer and board game fantasies here.

It was encouragingly busy early doors on a Wednesday evening, despite them being hemmed in by the seemingly never ending roadworks that have afflicted the road that runs along by the castle.

On the food front, the hot dog was a good one and I would certainly order one again. As for the Belgian frites, not for me I am afraid, and thus I would either pass or just go for the basic bitch frites. Certainly lots more interesting beers for me to try on subsequent visits.

It is really more about the beer and board games, with the food I suspect there for  fuelling up purposes during a gruelling 11 hour ” Hellfire Club”  D&D shift. I feel the Bran hot dog would be a good option for such a task.

The details

Address: 11 Dukes St., Cardiff, CF10 1AY

Website: https://branbar.co.uk/  – it is not a very informative site, to be honest, with just the ability to book and that is pretty much it.

Opening hours: