Now Poland isn’t really a country that I tended to associated with pizza. Italy, of course, and the USA, definitely, but Poland no, not really (although they do say Italians are everywhere, bar from the current World Cup of course 😂). When, however, I was in Krakow last year there was reference everywhere to a thing called zapiekanka.

Based on a quick Google search (undoubtedly the Evil Empire, but how did we function without it – I recall the tortuous, what I called” Looker Upper” but was actually called “Noter Up” I think, process of checking for updates to legislation in my formative legal days – the days being ones in 1896 and it taking about 56 of them to find stuff back then), I discovered zapiekanka to be eerily reminiscent of the Findus French bread pizza (which would undoubtedly cause any self respective Italian to froth at the mouth) of my youth which, along with Findus savoury crispy pancakes, I ate way too many of in a attempt to impress a girl (she was a vegetarian and I though me being one too would help ingratiate myself with her – Ed: it didn’t –  and I probably nearly got rickets and scurvy due to my ultimately utterly wasted persistence as I wasn’t really that keen on veg. back then).

I didn’t try any zapiekanka in Krakow, but saw on “Instagramaaaaazing” that a place in Canton did them (predictably, it being Instagamaaaaazing, the places wares were probably described as “to die for“, “honestly, just insanely good” and “I’m not gonna lie, I’m totally obsessed, these are the best thing evah” “gifted, but opinions are my own – just double checking, so I do still get it for free if I say that right?”).

I was overcome by a (morbid sense of) curiously as to whether the Polish version in the UK was any better than the Findus iteration/abomination of my youth (surely it had to be when the Findus pizza base was, so far as I could tell, made of densely compacted dust out of a hoover bag) and I, thus, tootled down to Greater Pontpangea (known Universe, out to 14.26 Billion Parsecs) in the jalopy (which is currently working a side hustle as an airfryer) to try one.

The zapiekanka menu here is undoubtedly a thing of visceral nightmares for an Italian/dreams for a 80s Findus marketing exec, with the likes of pineapple, advocado and BBQ, southern and tikka chicken as topping options (none of which, in my humble opinion, should be anywhere near a proper pizza – when I am rightfully in charge the punishment for anyone putting pineapple on a pizza with be hard labour in the ice mines I will set up on Enceladus).

Unsurprisingly, none of the “whackier” options really appealed much to me. As a result, I kept it simple with the “Classic” (mushrooms and cheese) which seemed closest to my recollection of Findus (sans the 4 trillion kelvin tomato sauce/puree, the second  hottest thing in the Universe headed only by a McDonald’ apple pie at 5 Bazillion kelvin, with both ranking a fair bit hotter than quark-guon plasma which is a mere 3.5 trillion kelvin – I am convinced the solution to our energy problems is not cold fusion but rather pitta bread, with the interior of one pumping out enough heat to power a small town after a mere 2 minutes in a toaster) and to what I suspect would be a start off point for one if eating in Poland. Entirely coincidentally (and nothing to do with me being a tight git and all) it just happened to also be the cheapest one too (£6.95).

I added to this a bag of crisps (Walkers) and a cold drink (fanta lemon) for an extra £1.95 to make it part of their meal deal offering. This took the total price to £8.90

The crisp were not needed so I ultimately spend more than I needed to. Will I ever learn?

After a brief wait, my order was called and I was asked what sauce I wanted on it, with a rather substantial selection on offer.

I recall garlic mayo, sweet chilli, siracha and chipotle but there were many others.

I declined these, but didn’t resist the crispy onions offered, with my suitably onion adorned zapiekanka coming in a rather smart box (which would have been super convenient if I had been taking it away).

I was, however, sitting in (there are a few stool and shelves to perch on/by for eat in purposes) and opened up the box to find a gratifyingly substantial (box filling) beast in terms of length and toppings

Looking underneath, it was clear it was pretty much a full half of a French bread baguette.

Not sure I needed the crispy onion as the grated mozzarella and cheddar (would wager mostly cheddar) was a tad crispy rather than stringy and gooey. The mushrooms underneath, however, were plentiful, properly seasoned, well caramelised and pleasingly earthy.

The bread itself had a crisp (but not overly so) crust whilst the interior retained softness.

All in all I quite enjoyed it (as a sort of guilty pleasure) and it certainly puts the Findus effort of my youth to total shame. Better mozzarella and more of it (in place of the predominance of the grated cheddar) would have taken it up a notch or two (but would also have undoubtedly lifted the price with it).

Verdict

Ok it not haute cuisine, but if you are looking for something that will fill you up, tastes pretty good and won’t break the bank then a classic ziepekanka from this place is not a bad option at all. Better and more mozzarella would lift things, but with it also the undoubtedly need to up the prices. For the price, I thought it was a pretty good deal.

They also do a variety of other sarnies and salads lunch boxes with a positive cornucopia of options available

They were doing a brisk trade at 12.30 on a week day and they certainly seem to love their job, with the lady serving (Big Mamma, I presume – didn’t seem that big to be honest, so must refer to personality rather than girth) very bubbly indeed (it is a rare thing to love your job, been 37 years and I am rapidly running out of time on that front before I formally retire!).

The details

Address: 242 Cowbridge Road East, Canton, Cardiff, CF5 1GZ.

Website: cant find one, but they are on Instagamaaaaazing at https://www.instagram.com/bigmammassandwich_club?igsh=MW5kenM3aXcwbnNiNA==

Opening hours: